you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
