mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
