loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
