"it" just moved
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
