sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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