pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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