Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
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My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
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next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
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