billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.