Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?