Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?