sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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