At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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