i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
