Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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