Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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