she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
