Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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