hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
