Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
