what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
