I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
