get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
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I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
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Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.