Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it