The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made