I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
