is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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