After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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