I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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