I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
