How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
