To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
