Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Come see our sink grown plant.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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