We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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