She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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