OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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