If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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