so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
