i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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