is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
