i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
