To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
