did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
