New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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