Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
