Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
