Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
