I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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