wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
