I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
