i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
