And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She is in my trunk
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
