3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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