When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
