I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
