oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize