Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
