Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
