What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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