It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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