I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
