those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
