i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Randomize
