You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
