trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
