Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
