I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
