youre lurking in front of me
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
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