he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
