: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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