you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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