I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
