For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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