this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
