I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
