have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
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Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
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That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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