1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
