ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I want to fling myself into the sun
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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