Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
